I can not take credit for this. I found it through one of my friends blogs but it is absolutely hillarious. You should know that we aren't fans of the Twilight series. Enjoy!
The whole Twilight series has not only changed my life- its improved my marriage. Allow me to present..the
TOP 5 WAYS TWILIGHT HAS MADE MY MARRIAGE MAGICAL!!
5. BT (Before Twilight), Jack and I used to just both go to bed and sleep at night..at the same time..I know, how sad, right? Now, AT (after Twilight), Jack and I stay awake in opposite four hour shifts so that we can watch each other sleeping. Sure, we are both extra crabby now, but romance comes with a price. (oh my gosh..maybe this is why Kristin Stewart is so angry all the time)
4. BT, I had a lot of personal interests and hobbies, but if there is one thing that Bella has taught me, it's that everything gets put on the back burner for LOVE. True love should consume your every thought and send you on a whirling merry go round of obsession, depression, and manic behavior. A veritable cocktail of crazy. When Jack left me (to go start his job in New Jersey), I sat in my recliner for 6 days, wearing the same clothes, and staring out into the yard. (The staring was only interrupted for child care, cooking, church callings, movies, and painting my house) In closing, I now focus all my time, energy, and interest in keeping the everlasting flame of Jack and I's love alive. I call him 220 times a day, just to hear him breathing, I write him tormented poetry, and I've vowed to leave my family behind forever, just to be with him. (unless I need babysitting or its Christmas or something)
3. Jack and I were big Potter heads and Lord of the Ring enthusiasts BT, but the mythical creatures of Twilight gave us the push we needed to become OFFICIAL dorks. We now play live action trolls in the forest and plan to get really involved in Star Trek in the near future.
2. BT, Jack and I would talk about our problems, sometimes debate, and eventually come to a comprise that we could both agree on. How boring, right? Well, AT we are committing to brooding silently and tormenting each other with our angst. The other day, we couldn't agree on what to watch on TV, and instead of compromising, I let silent tears of pain fall down my face, and Jack told me that he couldn't hurt me like this anymore and left me alone in the (forest) living room.
1. THE BEST WAY THAT TWILIGHT HAS MADE MY MARRIAGE MORE MAGICAL IS...
Jack has finally agreed that, the next time we go to the beach, he will let me cover him with body glitter. (it may or may not lead to him getting beat up, but that will only make our love even that much more tormented, so it works for us!)
Marital Advice brought to you by:
(The Cullens) The Monroes!
The whole Twilight series has not only changed my life- its improved my marriage. Allow me to present..the
TOP 5 WAYS TWILIGHT HAS MADE MY MARRIAGE MAGICAL!!
5. BT (Before Twilight), Jack and I used to just both go to bed and sleep at night..at the same time..I know, how sad, right? Now, AT (after Twilight), Jack and I stay awake in opposite four hour shifts so that we can watch each other sleeping. Sure, we are both extra crabby now, but romance comes with a price. (oh my gosh..maybe this is why Kristin Stewart is so angry all the time)
4. BT, I had a lot of personal interests and hobbies, but if there is one thing that Bella has taught me, it's that everything gets put on the back burner for LOVE. True love should consume your every thought and send you on a whirling merry go round of obsession, depression, and manic behavior. A veritable cocktail of crazy. When Jack left me (to go start his job in New Jersey), I sat in my recliner for 6 days, wearing the same clothes, and staring out into the yard. (The staring was only interrupted for child care, cooking, church callings, movies, and painting my house) In closing, I now focus all my time, energy, and interest in keeping the everlasting flame of Jack and I's love alive. I call him 220 times a day, just to hear him breathing, I write him tormented poetry, and I've vowed to leave my family behind forever, just to be with him. (unless I need babysitting or its Christmas or something)
3. Jack and I were big Potter heads and Lord of the Ring enthusiasts BT, but the mythical creatures of Twilight gave us the push we needed to become OFFICIAL dorks. We now play live action trolls in the forest and plan to get really involved in Star Trek in the near future.
2. BT, Jack and I would talk about our problems, sometimes debate, and eventually come to a comprise that we could both agree on. How boring, right? Well, AT we are committing to brooding silently and tormenting each other with our angst. The other day, we couldn't agree on what to watch on TV, and instead of compromising, I let silent tears of pain fall down my face, and Jack told me that he couldn't hurt me like this anymore and left me alone in the (forest) living room.
1. THE BEST WAY THAT TWILIGHT HAS MADE MY MARRIAGE MORE MAGICAL IS...
Jack has finally agreed that, the next time we go to the beach, he will let me cover him with body glitter. (it may or may not lead to him getting beat up, but that will only make our love even that much more tormented, so it works for us!)
Marital Advice brought to you by:
(The Cullens) The Monroes!
1 comment:
NICE Julie!! BTW...Eclipse was GREAT!! Even Justin came with me and mom (again). He likes the chick flicks ;)
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